Dealing with "I want to leave"

"Let's go." "I'm ready to leave." Few words are more dispiriting to hear when you've just arrived at an outing for you or your loved one's benefit. What's behind them? Sometimes it's feeling uncomfortable about a new place or feeling intimidated by a lot of people. If so, be pleasant and reassuring; help him or her find a quiet space and something enjoyable to eat or drink. But know that dementia also distorts a person's sense of time. So you may be among familiar, beloved people and still hear, "I want to go" after five minutes. The person with dementia isn't sure whether five minutes or five hours have passed. It's futile to argue. ("But we just got here!") Instead, try to stretch out the visit with a distraction: "Just a few more minutes . . . we're about to hear some music/look at some pictures/have some coffee." Realize, though, that if your loved one grows more agitated, the simplest course may be to try again another day.